One cup of greentea, honey and smiles please
by SassyAsCassie
Summary: Cas is working in Sam's Café called 'Pienators' and meets his borther. Cas begins to like him, but Dean soon is away for a Long time. Will the y finally...sh-t, I cant write summarys. It's better than this summary. coffeshop!AU Cas being despereate to know Deans Name, SAm being the not very helpfull moose he is and dean bringing a gift.


For the first weeks, I did not even know his name, but his order: green tea, cocoa if he has it, with a splash of honey.

"Honey doesn't splash," I told him the first time I actually made his drink, sticking a long wooden stick into a jar of raw honey and allowing the sweetener to drip into the steaming brew before giving it a light stir. "It oozes."

He looked down at me then, which was fascinating because most men had to be the same heigh as me or shorter. "Then I'll take a cocoa with an ooze of honey," he said with a a smile that took my breath away.

It automatically endeared me to him just like his emerald green eyes. So when he returned the next day, and the next, then again a few days after that, I asked him if he would like a splash of honey with his green tea.  
He looked amused and thought for a while, finger tipping against his chin before breaking into another smile.

"Yes," he would tell me, "but honey doesn't splash."  
At this I laughed a little, which made Sam, the owner of this shop, turn around because of my unusual behaviour. He looked firstly at me, then at my customer. Sam grinned cheekily and the customer followed my gaze to Sam. His smile widened and Sam resumed to his work at the kitchen.  
''You know each other?'' I said and he laughed.  
''We are brothers. Which is why I even came here, Sam's been really eager to let me taste his new found drinks. But I like sticking to the old.''  
''Oh.'' was my answer and quietly did my job as I saw the oncoming crowd of customers.

I liked sizing people up based upon their tea orders, did it with all of my friends and regulars. I have always been a big lover of Earl Grey with a tint of vanilla, complicated and difficult to appreciate at first. Cocoa with honey is a bit offbeat, sweet but slightly strange, the chocolate giving it a bit of a deeper taste. I think it is accurate for him. Sometimes he brought me something, a bit of green tea cake that he likes to make, a magazine about cars, showing me his preferences. He also wanted to show me his Impala, 'Baby' he calls it.

"You don't have to,"I tell him always, a bit flustered.

His reply went like: "I want to."

Then he stopped coming. The first day he did not appear comes as no surprise. His visits are regular, but sporadic. On day eight, I wondered whether he will ever return. On day twenty, I started considering if Sam's brother lost interest in me. So I asked him, but Sam's answer did not help in the slightest.  
''He will come back eventually''  
I asked myself if it was okay to tell Sam my attraction to his brother and asking for his name. But that would have been pretty awkard.

On day thirty, I lost hope.  
I was so happy to see him that my dream-self had run towards him, but before I could touch him I was jolted awake by the shrill beeping of my alarm clock. I slammed my fist into the snooze button and slowly stood up, not wanting anything more than meeting him again and asking him for his name.

The next morning, I woke up dripping with sweat, a pillow in my arms, bright morning sunlight making me squeeze my eyes shut and rethink of my sexual dream I had that night. I felt a wetness in my boxers and reached down, feeling the slickyness of my used underwear. My bed seemed much larger and emptier than it did ever before and I slowly started laughing to myself, thinking of my stupid crush on the nameless guy.

All day I was tense, everytime the little 'bim' signaling m a new customer went in, I raised my head in anticipitation, always ending up unrewarded of the beautiful smile.  
''He'll be back," I muttered to myself as I layed down on the counter, speaking the sentence like a mantra.  
It knocks, but the café had closed about 20 minutes ago, so I just ignored the waiting customer.

There is another series of knocks, louder this time. "We're closed!" I called out, not bothering to disguise the exasperation in my voice. The knocking increases until the visitor is banging on the door and I was forced to get up. I got a bit of a headrush as I sat up, hopping down from the counter, and storming over to the door.

The stormy look on my face simply vanishes shortly after seeing him there, waving at me with a mittened hand. It has started to snow sometime between closing time and now, and soft white flakes dotted his hair.

"Let me in!" he laughed, his voice muffled behind the glass. "It's really cold out here!" My fingers fumbled shakily at the deadbolt for a moment before I was able to open it and let him in. "I missed this place so much!" he smiled as he stepped into the tea shop.

"What, this shithole?" I asked sarcastically.

He huffed amused. "I missed you, too," he adds finally. He looks away, trying to hide the grin that threatens to spread across his face.  
''I had some business over in another town. Oh'', his smile widened and I felt the heat rosing up my neck, ''I bought you something''

"Oh, come on," I said, surpressing my upcoming happyness, because this man did not forgot me after all.

"But I wanted to, so shut up and accept your gifts," He replied with a grin, knowing what I was going to say and taking down both chairs from the nearest table. "Sit down." I rolled my eyes and did as he said, trying to keep a look of casual frustration on my face but failing as a slight smile starts speading over my façade.

I did not know his name, neither did he know mine, but that didn't stop him from kissing me. My eyes shot open and the heat re-rised to my face. His lips were soft, at the same time rough while kissing. Just as I imagined, but way better. His eyes were clouded with desire and I couldn't bear starng at him any longer so I shut my eyes again and finally returned the kiss.  
Things went fine from there.  
Dean and I got to know each other better and after a slow build we had a solid relationship, Sam sometimes teasing us and our nonexistent chick-flick moments.  
After a long time, Dean went to meet-up with an old friend of his called Benny. I was happy for him, he told me a lot about his old friend and the rough time they went through together. They lost sight of each other about half a year ago and finally had the time to see one another again. Dean even wanted me to go with him but I declined his offer, knowing I would just bother these two.  
When Dean finally came back, three weeks had passed, and I got up early to fetch Dean from the busstation. I had a hard time finding him in the crowd of people but as the street cleared up, I saw him standing on the other site of the street. He layed an eye on me at the same time and smiled his wonderful smile again, immediately running across the street.  
I was so happy to see him again and I was just about to run into his arms, when I saw out of the corner of my eye a car approaching in a speed clearly over the limit.

''WATCH OUT!'' I screamed, but it was too late.  
I blamed myself at that moment, the moments after, and right now. If I had seen the car sooner, Dean would be having more time to react.  
But I didn't.  
He didn't hear me.  
The car hit him.  
The last thing I saw was his body falling limply to the floor.

 _''Call an ambulance!''_

This were the words that I heard last before everything went black.  
I woke up in a white room and looked around but my eyes didn't want to focus on anything in particular. I squeezed my eyes shut a fe times before seeing clearly.  
My head was hurting really bad and I wondered where the pain came from.  
But then I realized what happened.  
Dean.

I jumped off the bed and lurched, but I recovered myself fast.  
I ran to the next doctor, who saw me stumbling and caught me mid-fall. Standing up, I didn't even apologize in the slightest, already blurting out my question.  
''Where is Dean Winchester stationed?''  
''In room 205. But you can't go in, he hasn't awaken yet.''  
The only thing I heard was room 205 everything else was now just a mashing up of letters.  
The only thing that was circling through my head was Dean.  
Is he alive?  
Will he make it through?  
Can I see him smile again?  
I ran through the hospital searching for his room and felt hot tears streaming down my face, slowly rolling down my cheeks, sinking into my shirt.

196\. 197. 198. 199. 200. 201... 203  
205-  
There it was.  
With shaking hands I turned the door knob and there he laid.  
He was connected to 6 machines if not more.  
I took his hand, it was cold as ice, his veins standing out of his pale skin.  
''Dean... please don't leave me. You're the only one who can brighten my day.  
I love you. Please... stay by my side.  
You're the most precious person to me on this planet and I couldn't imagine a life without you. So just, just don't leave me alone.'' I whispered slowly, every word heavy on my tongue.  
Repeating the same sentence of 3 words again and again,

I heard how the door slowly opened and the doctor from earlier came in.  
''Excuse me Sir, you can't be here. Please leave the room.''  
I didn't react.  
''Sir? You really need to leave the room or I'm forced to call the security.'' he said now with a little bit louder and more demanding voice.  
''No... please.'' I whimpered.  
''No, I'm sorry. I can't permit this, please leave now.''  
''Doctor, I'm begging you. I will even prostrate, but just let me stay by his side.  
I love him like no one does, I won't make a sound but just let me stay here.''  
I begged him while more and more tears rolled down my face. His face slowly loosened up and his eyes were softer, more understanding.  
''Okay. But if you make a noise or try something funny I will be concussed to call the security.'' he said with a strict voice.  
I nodded and he left me alone with Dean.

9 days passed by and he didn't move once.  
I wasn't leaving his side since the day of the accident nor letting anyone stay here except Sam, who showed up everytime he could after closing the café.  
I slept on the chair beside his bed and ate after the nurses forced me to.

I held his hand and prayed the whole time that he will wake up, smiling at me like he did, his eyes meeting mine. I couldn't imagine a life without my beloved.  
No one was ever so important to me like him.  
I couldn't bear it to loose him, without him a part of my life would be missing.  
''Dean. Please wake up. I'm missing you. Sam's missing you. I feel so useless without you.  
I can't imagine to live without you.  
You're the one who never let me feel empty, and the one who I will love forever.  
But please just don't leave me.  
I love you.''  
I whispered imto his ear and started to cry again, but no tears rolled down my cheeks. I didn't had any tears left.  
But I still felt the pain in my heart. It clinged to me and wold never leave me.

I looked him in the face and stroked over his cheek.  
He felt so cold and his lips were dry and blue-ish, he really looked emaciated.  
But to me he was still the most beautiful person on this planet.  
I closed my eyes and brought back the memories we had before this accident.  
I even started to smile to myself.

Suddenly I felt how something hand moved. First just a little and shaky, but the I felt it: is fingers were caressing mine, drawing small circles into my palm.  
I immediately froze and my facial expression became serious.  
''...Dean?'' I asked carefully and stared with wide opened eyes at his still unmoving face.  
I waited... nothing.  
Probably just a prank of my imagination or some after effects of eating near to nothing.

But then he moved again.  
And I'm pretty sure this wasn't my imagination.  
He opened slowly his eyes but I saw that inner fight he fought to keep them open.  
''Cas'' he whispered with a weak and shaky voice.  
''No Dean. Don't talk I will get a doctor!''  
I immediately jumped off my chair and rushed to the door.  
''W..ait.'' he said with a choking voice and coughed.  
I stopped dead in tracks and turned back to him and stood at his side.  
He looked so helpless and tiny, something I would have never imagined to happen.  
''I will.. he coughed again.  
''Please, stop talking.'' I said with a worrying voice.  
I should have went for the Doctor.  
I did not.  
I didn't after all.  
''Cas... Castiel...'' he made a long pause.  
I just starred at him with an alarmed mien.  
''Just let me tell you a thing.'' he said with great effort after he caughed hard, rolling into a small ball before loosening up again.  
''Okay, Dean. But please don't overexert yourself.'' I said while sitting down the chair.  
He closed his eyes and smiled before opened his mouth.  
''You always... always pick your words so effortless. I wished I could do that too... but again, that is something... something I love on you. Be... cause you are so different from me. I will love you forever and..'' He made a pause again and breathed heavily.  
''And I heard every single...'' he coughed really bad.  
''I heard every single word... and I'm really happy that you stayed all the time at my side.'' he said with almost no voice.  
Tears started to roll down my face again and I couldn't hold them back. And I didn't want to.  
I sould have stood up for te Doctor again:  
But, of course, I did not.  
I was so happy that he has woken up and that I got my dearest person back.  
He slowly opened his eyes.  
''No.. please don't cry.'' he said while he was breathing heavily.  
''Please just rest.''  
''Cas...'' A cough again.  
A deep breath.  
A sagging of his shoulders.  
''We both know.. that I won't manage it.''  
''But.. but what are you saying? Of course you will. I know it. You are strong. We are strong.'' My voice became louder and I started forming with my free hand, the other clutching to his.  
''No. And don't try to change it.'' he said with a dying voice.  
He took my hand and I frightened of the coldness.  
A shiver of mine.  
A breath of his.  
''Please, I want to see your face as the last thing...before I leave. I... actually never thought to end everything with... a chick-flick moment. But...as long as it is with you... I'll gladly do it'' his voice sounded like it was about to break like a shattering doll.  
''No you won't leave. Please stay strong! We will manage this together! I will do everything needed. Just stay by my side''  
I said with a shaking voice, tears still falling down my face.  
His grip got weaker and I saw how his heartbeat getting and more irregular.  
I should have punched the red ''Help''-button now.  
But I did not.  
''No Cas... It's time. But promise me...'' he coughed weakly his eyes falling shut, but he opened the with his last power again.  
''That you will.. never forget me.'' he coughed again and it hurt me to see him in this condition.  
''I will love you forever... and I will watch over you.  
I will love you forever.'' he said closing his eyes without the determination of opening them ever again and wore the wonderful smile I loved so much.  
I just heard a piercing noise of the machine which showed that there was no heartbeat anymore.

 _This was the last time I saw his beautiful smile._


End file.
